Tuesday, 9 October 2007
The video is here!
Obviously, our producer Reg gave us a budget of GAZILLIONS to have like special effects and hot bitches and exploding death stars and stuff going off in the background .. but I like to get involved in the creative process in a 'hands on' sense. I decided it would be more organic and a better experience to edit the video myself. I really did have a huge budget though. Probably more than any of Simon's budgets. Ever. I'm just humble.
Thursday, 4 October 2007
I'm totally happy and relaxed about who I am
You know when you just feel really at ease with yourself, like comfortable in your own skin and not really bitter at all? That's how I feel. Just really comfortable and happy about where I am in life and not even a little bit bitter.
Monday, 1 October 2007
Questions with Art ...
Okay, I'm a hands on guy ... I like to answer emails when I can. I've picked a few out from the literally GAZILLIONS of emails I've had (some of them were from different galaxies, so Satan had to translate).
Dave, Essex: "Is it true that Paul Simon wrote The Sound Of Silence and Simon conceived the song as a way of capturing the emotional trauma felt by many Americans left by the sudden death of a vigorous and visionary leader (John F Kennedy)".
No Dave, that's a pile of horse shit made up by Simon's cronies. It was actually written by me ART GARFUNKEL and was very much wishful thinking at the time. It was conceived as a way of imagining what it would be like without that FUCKING WHINING MIDGET.
HfNSYEtr311, Outer Galaxy 7: "Out here in the perimeter galaxies, word has reached us that you might be just a tad bitter that Paul Simon went on to achieve worldwide fame and popularity, because he was the clever, talented one and that you turned to bricklaying as a way to pay the rent because Paul Simon wrote all the genius gold and you were left penniless ... is this true?"
THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!! IT WAS ME, ART GARFUNKEL, THAT DUMPED PUPPET-BOY!#@! Just because I was unwilling to prostitute myself and take advantage of sensitive issues like apartheid to bolster my obvious lack of talent, does not mean I have no talent of my own. I've always loved bricks, since I was a kid .. it's part of my zen philosophy of 'embracing the simple' (which is EXACTLY what I did when I met Paul!) and staying grounded. I'm totally loaded and could jack the bricklaying in tomorrow if I wanted. And no, I am NOT ... FUCKING ... BITTER!!! I wish people would stop asking me that over and over again. I love Paul like a little puppety brother. I wish him all the success in the world.
Shiraz, Gurbu: "Is it true you are 1/128th West Indian?"
I take it this is a hair reference Shiraz? No you cheeky fucking bitch, I am NOT 1/128th West Indian.
Hank, Arkinsas: "Is Art Garfunkel your real name?"
Of course not. It was a genius masterstroke of PR. My real name is Ken. But let's face it, there's nothing more 'Artsy' than 'Art' (I made that up all by my own) :). Art is short for Arthur by the way. I like to educate my fans as well as provide them with pure rhythmic gold. I don't do three minute penned 'jaunts' like the little 'squirrel of pop' Simon. And I don't need to hang out with famous comedians or 'stand on the shoulders of giants' to succeed. Some unfortunate child-sized adults really DO need to stand on the shoulders of other people ... you know, to see the stage and stuff.
Wrighty, Enfield: "Any chance you could come and fix my wall?"
FUCK YOU!!
(Actually, how much are we talking? .. Mail me).
Send your questions in and I'll answer if I have time from my rediculously busy schedule.
Dave, Essex: "Is it true that Paul Simon wrote The Sound Of Silence and Simon conceived the song as a way of capturing the emotional trauma felt by many Americans left by the sudden death of a vigorous and visionary leader (John F Kennedy)".
No Dave, that's a pile of horse shit made up by Simon's cronies. It was actually written by me ART GARFUNKEL and was very much wishful thinking at the time. It was conceived as a way of imagining what it would be like without that FUCKING WHINING MIDGET.
HfNSYEtr311, Outer Galaxy 7: "Out here in the perimeter galaxies, word has reached us that you might be just a tad bitter that Paul Simon went on to achieve worldwide fame and popularity, because he was the clever, talented one and that you turned to bricklaying as a way to pay the rent because Paul Simon wrote all the genius gold and you were left penniless ... is this true?"
THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!! IT WAS ME, ART GARFUNKEL, THAT DUMPED PUPPET-BOY!#@! Just because I was unwilling to prostitute myself and take advantage of sensitive issues like apartheid to bolster my obvious lack of talent, does not mean I have no talent of my own. I've always loved bricks, since I was a kid .. it's part of my zen philosophy of 'embracing the simple' (which is EXACTLY what I did when I met Paul!) and staying grounded. I'm totally loaded and could jack the bricklaying in tomorrow if I wanted. And no, I am NOT ... FUCKING ... BITTER!!! I wish people would stop asking me that over and over again. I love Paul like a little puppety brother. I wish him all the success in the world.
Shiraz, Gurbu: "Is it true you are 1/128th West Indian?"
I take it this is a hair reference Shiraz? No you cheeky fucking bitch, I am NOT 1/128th West Indian.
Hank, Arkinsas: "Is Art Garfunkel your real name?"
Of course not. It was a genius masterstroke of PR. My real name is Ken. But let's face it, there's nothing more 'Artsy' than 'Art' (I made that up all by my own) :). Art is short for Arthur by the way. I like to educate my fans as well as provide them with pure rhythmic gold. I don't do three minute penned 'jaunts' like the little 'squirrel of pop' Simon. And I don't need to hang out with famous comedians or 'stand on the shoulders of giants' to succeed. Some unfortunate child-sized adults really DO need to stand on the shoulders of other people ... you know, to see the stage and stuff.
Wrighty, Enfield: "Any chance you could come and fix my wall?"
FUCK YOU!!
(Actually, how much are we talking? .. Mail me).
Send your questions in and I'll answer if I have time from my rediculously busy schedule.
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